She's like the village bicycle.. everyone's had a ride!

So, last night, after a filthy night of fun which I will divulge more about later, I lay my sleepy head down onto my pillow and prepared for a fun night of sleep. It was around 1am when I went to sleep, and what woke me up at 3am.. I don't know if it was a filthy act of God, or what.. but I was awoken to the sounds of some serious creaking next door. Now, I'd like to paint you a picture of our neighbors.. there's a girl on our right, who lives alone and is a sophomore named Maggie. Now, Maggie is what we like to call a " Girl who likes to eat her feelings.." a Blonde Emma Gerber if you will. If you don't know what I'm talking about, and haven't seen Mean Girls.. well.. shame on you.. we can't be friends anymore, it's over. The girls to our left are filthy athletic-type chicks, who enjoy stealing the marker on our dry-erase board outside.. which quite frankily is wacky as sin! I've never understood the need for people to steal.. but moreso.. steal the gayest things ever! That's so badass.. " Hey, let me steal this nice dry-erase marker!" Anywho, to refer back to the creaking I was talking about earlier, it just continued going at a rapid pace.. and I immediately started hearing this manly feminine voice singing in key of E. So, yes, ladies and gentlemen, at 3 in the morning, I was witnessing through the miracle of hearing.. our next door neighbor being ridden harder than Tara Reid at the wrap party for her first season of Taradise. I'm not an idiot, I'm not trying to say I'm better than anyone else, but people like SERIOUSLY have no class anymore.. it's so amazing. I sometimes have no room to talk because I'm filthier than the floor of Texaco bathroom... or filthier than the floor of our bathroom.. To give a nice close to this post, I would like to say for the record how I love going into public bathrooms and finding tons and tons of toilet paper strewn throughout the stall. It's like someone decided they'd like a toilet paper scarf to wear.. but they'd rather have it in puce than in white.