Friday, November 10, 2006

It's okeey, Judy.. I want'd to spend more time with my kids, anyway!

Okay, a lot has happened since the last time I posted.

1. Rachel has entered the wonderful world of Community College. I'm currently at the fine academic establishment here at home, and living with my Mom. I'm going to be working towards getting my degree in Education. Yes, that's right, kiddies! Rachicus-Eicus wants to be a teacher. After all, I have to educate the kiddies.. share my knowledge with the future.. I mean, every parent wants their child to grow up knowing just when the Jaclyn Smith pants suits will be available at half price at the local Marshall's.

2. I've met someone, and we're deeply in love. Sure, he doesn't know it yet.. and sure, if he ever did, there'd be a restraining order slapped on me just as rough as Justine Bateman looked on a recent Lifetime movie, but I don't care. I will forever love John Krasinski.

3. The new Spiderman 3 trailer is cool, like seriously cool! Normally couldn't care less, even though I own both Spiderman and Spiderman 2.. ( -coughimpulsebuy.-) Have to say that Thomas Hayden Church is definitely in his element as Sandman.. because.. get ready for this.. a nice "Cut.. it.. out... is this thing on?" moment.. his career is falling through his hands like sand.. BAHAHA..ha. Sorry.. the filthiness is getting to my head.. definite TMI moment, but it's tough to think when you smell like bad.. "I'm in the food-court adjacent to the Stein Mart" chinese food.
4. The Office is a fabulous show, and those who don't think that.. deserve to eat it.. not moderately-soft.. not soft.. but.. HARD!!!!

5. Love the fact that Dermot Mulroney is staring in the upcoming Lifetime movie. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Dermot, Dermot, Dermot.. expected more from you, my friend..
6. Is it bad of me? It's definitely bad that I have an interest in the new Taye Diggs show that's going to be coming on NBC.. Can't help it.. it looks good.. ignoring the fact that Taye Diggs is about as interesting as a wallpaper sample.

Flappings from a fabulously filthy bird

Okay, I haven't posted in a while.. and I'm just as sorry as Ted Danson when he stopped receiving residual checks from Becker. To make up for my lack of posting, I'm going to start posting a lot more frequently, because I'm now in a filthy place again. Kind of soaked up the motor oil the last couple of months, and felt as dried up and haggard as Judith Light when she appeared on Twenty Good Years. But now, I'm back.. the bird has returned to her nest, and the world won't be prepared for what they'll hear from this dirty maccaw!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Rachicus-Eicus's Randomnicus

  1. Not trying to steal any thunder from Mr. Sikorski, because his new additions to his blog are mucho qu'est que c'est scuzzy, but I'm thinking I need to spice up my blog. Instead of having like a radio station on mine, when you come onto the blog, maybe it can just have someone going.. " Squee.. Dee.. DEE! You are on the blog of Ms. Rachy-Eeeeeeeeeeee!" Just thinking about it, tossing an idea out there.. and if you like it, take it.. and if you don't.. toss it back.
  2. V For Vendetta is an awesome AWESOME movie! I really wanted to see it, ever since I saw the previews.. I mean, yeah.. they have the Government crap in it.. and sure, that knocks me out quicker than Nancy McKeon's husband did to dear old Nancy in the Lifetime movie I saw recently.. Seriously though, chickadees.. this movie is much like Star Wars.. when you think that you're about to drift off and fall asleep on the shoulder of the questionable guy seated next to you, smelling of apple juice and ham.. BAM! Major action! In this case, it was Natalie Portman head-shavage!
  3. I know that my older, and extremely filthy, yet musically-inclined brother has been putting videos on You-Tube.. and I would also like to say how much I enjoy that site.. but mostly because of the fan music videos. And yes, I have found myself jamming out time and time again to some Salute Your Shorts music videos. Who needs a club mix when you have the love story of Donkey-Lips and Dina Alexander set to We Belong Together by Mariah Carey?
  4. I'd just like to close this post, and tell you that F all of the Jeff Foxworthy: You Might Be A Redneck if.. moments.. Rachicus-Eicus is offering: You might be a Filthpot if.. moments. Coming from personal experience, here's something for ya. You might be a Filthpot if.. you turn on the shower, preparing to cleanse yourself of filth, and instead of water, grimey filth oozes out of the shower.

Friday, March 03, 2006

The World Don't Need.. another.. Raaaaccchhheeell..

Okay, look.. I know I haven't posted in a while.. I'm sorry! So sorry in fact, that I'm willing to make it up to you filthy FILTHY chickadees. In fact, I'm willing to send the Good Old Dempsey over to your house, to deliver some pizza goodness. Now, there are a few things that need to be stated up-front. I won't make Patrick your Loverboy, unless you are: (a) An adult female, who is a lover of Dach-SUNT's, and likes to frequent bars where everybody knows your name. (b) A short, beastly female, who looks like she puts on her make-up with a hose, and whose name rhymes with Larry Disher. And I would like to conclude this post, by stating that whilst Mr. Dempsey might look a little bit kooky with that mustache.. if you keep sticking with me, and waiting for more posts.. I'll send him over, and he'll make you feel it.. whilst.. giving you those extra anchovies that you so desperately wanted on your pizza. ( Note to the more filthy readers of mine, we're talking a Paul Reiser level of filth for the men, and a Dixie Carter level for the women.. if you haven't seen Loverboy.. then.. I just.. I just can't talk to you anymore. Nope, you're offically cut off, and drained of your filth.)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Rachel's Really Scuzzy Randomness

1. I'd just like to state for the record, that after seeing Elizabethtown for a 2nd time, Orlando Bloom's career needs to seriously meet the business end of a rifle. C'mon, Orlando! The one-arm dancing and everything, and the hopping around like a tool, wasn't helping you out very much! And you would also think.. hearing Susan Sarandon say boner would've made up for it.. but it only made it even more disturbing.

2. I'm thinking I seriously need help.. what kind of a dark place would you consider Rachel to be in, when she rents the 1st season of Curb Your Enthusiasm from the school library?

3. I love my Special Edition of Ferris Bueller.. the Bueller Bueller Edition. I'm thinking.. that they need to follow up on that tradition of making wacky editions, and just do a whole collection set for a certain Mr. Rooney. I'm thinkin' you need to go ahead and grab together Mom and Dad Save the World, Beetlejuice, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.. for the lovely " Forget Chuckie Cheese! Kids, come and play with the Rooney, please!" Edition. It's a little lengthy, but I seriously think that kids, and even parents alike, would enjoy purchasing this DVD set.

4. I'd like to say for the record.. what a refreshing change it is.. to come back to school, and not have my door decorated with Ruby Red slippers, but with bitchin' guitars! I've gotta say, I'm seriously embracing my inner Courtney Love everyday, when I lay eyes on my orange guitar with a music note on it!

5. I also like to say, that I'm seriously loving the Office. It's qu'est que c'est hilarious! I got the 1st season on DVD from Amazon.. at a very nice used price.. and it's f'ing lovely!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Here's your Sebboriah.. I'll raise you some acne vulgaris!

I'm just going to go on a rant for just a quick little minute.

You have been forewarned.. get ready for a whole lot of filthy.. and a hell of a lot of scuzziness..

I love how my only two options for completely fixing my acne, or either using the blue light, or taking medicine that could get me pregnant, or if I'm already pregnant, could cause my baby to get birth defects. And if I choose to take that medicine, I'll have to start on birth control, and have to give all of this blood work, and do this every damn 3-4 weeks. I'm sorry dude, but me and my uterus could give a rats-ass about my acne.

So, basically.. because I'm as filthy as the damn day is long, and my skin is angry, due to nerves and poor genetics.. my only two courses of action or to either get knocked up, or do the K-Mart Blue Light special.

Damn, they could at least throw a black light, or a frigging glo-stick in there.. I mean, c'mon, man!

Damn my dermatologist, who makes me take off my top, to examine my face.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

My Dark Place, here we come..

In the midst of my break slowly ending, and falling back into even more drama in the home-front, I still decided it was my duty to keep on truckin', and keep on postin', my chickadees.

Now, I'm not going to be a "damn litterbugger" like Rosemary Ackerman from Serial Mom, I'm simply going to recycle the filthiness..

I stumbled onto my most favoritest of the blog sites.. severly beating out " I'm so super G, I could cut your eyes out with my Hot Pink nails.. Monsieur Perezzzzzz Hilton!" Conversations about Famous People, which is the best damn thing ever, brought the American People, a story today.. which I found to be both severly scuzzy, and grimey at the same time.

After stumbling through this article, which mentioned a famous young actress.. well, actress might be stretching it a little bit.. but anywho.. a famous young actress.. whose name we won't mention, because I have a duty to keep things private for the celebrities.. Let's just call her.. Fischa Larton..

Well, Fischa Larton was out shopping with her boyfriend.. who.. we won't really get into.. but just say that the guy is the equivilant of the plethora of filth that is found on the floor of a Texaco bathroom.

Whilst taking a gander at the first photo of the Larton, I was slightly taken aback.. but as it progressed, I immediately backflipped in horror at the last close-up that I saw..

Folks, just be lucky that my computer is acting like a bitch right now, and not letting me post the photo.. If you're ready to go to your dark place, and find swallowing difficult, then head on over to Conversations about Famous People.

I won't say what the photos of Fischa depict.. I promise..

Until, then..

The End..

Friday, December 23, 2005

Perfect Postings.

I know I haven't posted in a while. I'm just too filthy and scuzzy for words.

To make it up to people, I just offer up five simple words.

Mother effin' Mark Linn-Baker.

Since Cuuuuuusin Larry could put up with Balki, I'm hoping that you filthy birds can put up with Rachy-E's lack of posting. Now that I'm out of school for a little break, hopefully the filthiness will return.. If it doesn't, I give you permission to kick me in my Bronson Pinchot's.